Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Bloody Scale
I told my sister once I was going to invent a scale with no numbers. It would not tell you your weight until you are at your goal or below. I would like it to have the sound effects that I make as I step on it, but I doubt that people want to hear their scale neigh like a horse or cuss words. Well, maybe the cuss words. But I guess it is a blessing that it does not talk because we would have words.
I think mine plays mind games with me, and it’s like being on a game show. It past the number where you want it to be like Wheel of Fortune, I can almost hear the beep, beep, beep as it slows to my actual weight. To make it even worse, mine is to the tenth of a pound. {.8, .4, .8} or may be it should read {bad day, good day, bad day}.
Thank goodness it does not fit into my purse and there is no IPhone App.
That being said I lost 5lbs last week!
A Couple of Thoughts
I am giving myself a Hip Hip HOORAY for eating more fruits and veggies. I've been doing really well at including more than one at each meal, as well as making other changes to sub-out for the processed carbs. I even put oatmeal in the chocolate chip cookies yesterday. Small victories. MOH and I also decided that the peaches in his mom's epic peach pie definitely counted as a fruit serving. I don't see why they shouldn't. No one ever said that only low-calorie uses constituted a serving.
A quick daily run down: so far it's been steel-cut oats and raisins for breakfast (added milk and some sugar but not much of either); and homemade pizza with tomatoes and olives for lunch (and an apple! go me!). I brought a banana for a snack and some yogurt so that definitely counts as healthy. And I've only eaten one cookie, but as stated previously, it included oats. I should probably stop counting the oats. In any case, planning on steak and cheese sammies for dinner with a side salad and an orange.
In other news, I renewed www.stonearchcakery.com for another year. Not yet sure how to make this happen as a renter, but I'm still scheming away.
A quick daily run down: so far it's been steel-cut oats and raisins for breakfast (added milk and some sugar but not much of either); and homemade pizza with tomatoes and olives for lunch (and an apple! go me!). I brought a banana for a snack and some yogurt so that definitely counts as healthy. And I've only eaten one cookie, but as stated previously, it included oats. I should probably stop counting the oats. In any case, planning on steak and cheese sammies for dinner with a side salad and an orange.
In other news, I renewed www.stonearchcakery.com for another year. Not yet sure how to make this happen as a renter, but I'm still scheming away.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I Can't Hang with this Resolution Business
Dear friends, a confession: I am unable to control my desire for sugar. In order to avoid total, complete, and utter failure within two weeks of making the resolution (which is, hmmm, sad) I have had a rethink about this particular goal. Convenient, I know. However, it has become quite clear that I need to adapt my goal to reflect my reality rather than admitting defeat. In this case, the reality is that I make cakes. The reason I make cakes is obviously that I friggin' love them. The other reason that I make so many cakes is that I am the go-to person for family and friends. I am surrounded quite frequently by rounds of cake and vats of buttercream frosting and ganache. It is not a bad way to live. Moreover, it is how I want to live. Also of note, one of my other resolutions is to work toward relaunching my cake business, which will only engender more cakes.
So what is to be done then? How do I rectify this desire to continue baking cakes and other delicious items* with my other desire to eat more healthfully? Especially considering that I love to unwind by baking. I briefly considered it as stress relief, which all the magazines tell me is a critical component of a healthy life and full mind-body wellness. Am I not then doing myself a favor by baking? I love this argument but must admit that no, in fact I am not doing myself any huge favors. No person needs to bake as much as I do unless they also have a cash register in the front of the baking establishment.
I also briefly considered the cold turkey approach. This is really the only place to go because moderation is something I already practice with relative ease. I have only once gone completely nuts and it involved me, a fork, and entire chocolate peanut butter cake. Disgusting to be sure, but it really did the trick. So it's not like cutting back would mean going from all-out sweets binges to a more controlled intake. This is getting hard, and to be honest, that's probably why this is a lousy resolution.
So, my rethink has led me to a different but semi-related resolution: to eat more fruits and vegetables. The new plan is to concentrate on getting more good stuff in and not worrying so much about the other stuff. This isn't easy either (MOH and I frequently eat pancakes and bacon for breakfast, nary a fruit in sight), but I think it ought to be easier than the cold turkey, pain and suffering approach. I will let you know how this goes, but I can say I already have had a banana and some dried cranberries today, and it's only 10 am.
*For the sake of ease, I will also lump into the "delicious items" category the following: pastries (such as my number one most-frequently-desired delicious item, pain au chocolat), all cookies and bars, chocolate, ice cream, syrup (and I'm talking about the awful no-resemblance-to-actual-syrup-syrup), and brownies. I realize that brownies are technically a cookie or bar, but I am making brownies their own category because I love them so much.
So what is to be done then? How do I rectify this desire to continue baking cakes and other delicious items* with my other desire to eat more healthfully? Especially considering that I love to unwind by baking. I briefly considered it as stress relief, which all the magazines tell me is a critical component of a healthy life and full mind-body wellness. Am I not then doing myself a favor by baking? I love this argument but must admit that no, in fact I am not doing myself any huge favors. No person needs to bake as much as I do unless they also have a cash register in the front of the baking establishment.
I also briefly considered the cold turkey approach. This is really the only place to go because moderation is something I already practice with relative ease. I have only once gone completely nuts and it involved me, a fork, and entire chocolate peanut butter cake. Disgusting to be sure, but it really did the trick. So it's not like cutting back would mean going from all-out sweets binges to a more controlled intake. This is getting hard, and to be honest, that's probably why this is a lousy resolution.
So, my rethink has led me to a different but semi-related resolution: to eat more fruits and vegetables. The new plan is to concentrate on getting more good stuff in and not worrying so much about the other stuff. This isn't easy either (MOH and I frequently eat pancakes and bacon for breakfast, nary a fruit in sight), but I think it ought to be easier than the cold turkey, pain and suffering approach. I will let you know how this goes, but I can say I already have had a banana and some dried cranberries today, and it's only 10 am.
*For the sake of ease, I will also lump into the "delicious items" category the following: pastries (such as my number one most-frequently-desired delicious item, pain au chocolat), all cookies and bars, chocolate, ice cream, syrup (and I'm talking about the awful no-resemblance-to-actual-syrup-syrup), and brownies. I realize that brownies are technically a cookie or bar, but I am making brownies their own category because I love them so much.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Kelley Waxes Philosophical about Sugar
It's a total a cliche to say I want to cut down on processed sugar as a New Years resolution. I'm pretty sure everyone says they're going to do it and intends to do it. We're constantly reminded of how bad it is for our bodies, and what we're giving up by replacing real food with sugar. And yeah, I get it. I really do. I know that ideally I should reach for fruit salad after dinner to stand in for dessert. I am well aware that a piece of chocolate is not a right after every meal. Blah blah blah. I really like sugar. And sorry silly "health" people, agave nectar is not sugar. Nor is stevia or splenda or anything else fake. At least I have identified the problem, right? I know sugar is not good for me, but I'm not into the healthy alternatives and I refuse to believe that fake food is healthy anyway. (That sound was me jumping off the soapbox.)
I have been reading all these "resolutions issues" in the January magazines (full disclosure: I love me some magazines). I'm pretty sure they're all written by the same person because they all say the same thing: you have to choose a resolution that you're really committed to, you have to know why it's important to you, and you have to have a plan to implement the changes. So let's run through this quickly:
1. Something you're really committed to...I can best sum up my sugar resolution as: "I suppose so." Truth told, I would love to continue eating baked goods with relative impunity. I workout a lot and can get away with the cookies to a certain extent. However, I am also well aware that I would feel better and perform better in my training if I could kick the sugar habit. So I will change it to: "Yes, let's do this thing."
2. Why do you want to do this? Training purposes, for one. I know I would perform better if I would stop putting so many empty carbs into the tank. There is something else though, ugly though it is. I simply don't like that it's a habit. I want to I have more control over my cravings. Right now it's automatic for me to want something sweet after a meal, especially after dinner. It's not necessarily that I love it, or feel I've earned it, but more like an automatic reaction. I just know that I'm going to want it. Ideally, I would like to decide that dessert sounds good or that it's the right time for it and just go for it guilt-free.
3. Plan of action. This is where things break down a little. The Man of the House (MOH) is about as addicted to sweets as I am. Also, I love to bake. Usually it goes like this. MOH says he feels like dessert...I agree it would be delicious. Despite wanting to cut back, I also want to bake so I tell myself I will just have a little. MOH chooses dessert and I implement. We each have some and I package up the rest for regifting.
Granted, this scenario could be far worse. We rarely go nuts and never really eat more than a portion or two. But we do this pretty much every night. This stuff adds up. Also, I am terrible about the "bites." I don't want to eat a full portion so I creep a bite as I walk by. It would be so much better decide that brownies are amazing and that I want two. Even better if I could just do it and not feel bad because I haven't eaten sweets every day this week.
Back to the plan: I may have to recruit MOH for this and get him on board. No more 8 pm requests for brownies (unless there's a good reason). Also, it's time for the chocolate in the cupboard to go. It's way too easy to have a square as I walk by. I want the sweets to be a conscious decision.
I am starting this somewhat begrudgingly, but I am going to give myself a week or two and see how it goes.
I have been reading all these "resolutions issues" in the January magazines (full disclosure: I love me some magazines). I'm pretty sure they're all written by the same person because they all say the same thing: you have to choose a resolution that you're really committed to, you have to know why it's important to you, and you have to have a plan to implement the changes. So let's run through this quickly:
1. Something you're really committed to...I can best sum up my sugar resolution as: "I suppose so." Truth told, I would love to continue eating baked goods with relative impunity. I workout a lot and can get away with the cookies to a certain extent. However, I am also well aware that I would feel better and perform better in my training if I could kick the sugar habit. So I will change it to: "Yes, let's do this thing."
2. Why do you want to do this? Training purposes, for one. I know I would perform better if I would stop putting so many empty carbs into the tank. There is something else though, ugly though it is. I simply don't like that it's a habit. I want to I have more control over my cravings. Right now it's automatic for me to want something sweet after a meal, especially after dinner. It's not necessarily that I love it, or feel I've earned it, but more like an automatic reaction. I just know that I'm going to want it. Ideally, I would like to decide that dessert sounds good or that it's the right time for it and just go for it guilt-free.
3. Plan of action. This is where things break down a little. The Man of the House (MOH) is about as addicted to sweets as I am. Also, I love to bake. Usually it goes like this. MOH says he feels like dessert...I agree it would be delicious. Despite wanting to cut back, I also want to bake so I tell myself I will just have a little. MOH chooses dessert and I implement. We each have some and I package up the rest for regifting.
Granted, this scenario could be far worse. We rarely go nuts and never really eat more than a portion or two. But we do this pretty much every night. This stuff adds up. Also, I am terrible about the "bites." I don't want to eat a full portion so I creep a bite as I walk by. It would be so much better decide that brownies are amazing and that I want two. Even better if I could just do it and not feel bad because I haven't eaten sweets every day this week.
Back to the plan: I may have to recruit MOH for this and get him on board. No more 8 pm requests for brownies (unless there's a good reason). Also, it's time for the chocolate in the cupboard to go. It's way too easy to have a square as I walk by. I want the sweets to be a conscious decision.
I am starting this somewhat begrudgingly, but I am going to give myself a week or two and see how it goes.
Friday, December 31, 2010
5, 4, 3,...
It is almost here and when I wake up tomorrow. Well, I will eat breakfast, take the pups for a walk, maybe go back to sleep but then "Let the Year Begin!"
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Dear 2010 -Is it over yet!!! ~With Love Heather
2010 is not a year I look back fondly and say “what a year.” I love Christmas and this time of the year but I wanted to just rush past it just to get to 2011. I have not written a New Year’s Resolution list in years because I believed that my birthday represented my own personal New Years. I am making an exception because I cannot enter 2011 without goals and a plan. I have been blessed and appreciate all that I have. I also know that I have not been fulfilled in life in a long, long time. This past year has brought me to realize that there are a few things that I want to accomplish and maybe more as the year goes on, we will see. My resolution theme is Mind, Body, and Soul and my 2011 Resolutions are:
- My relationship with God. I stopped going to church regularly. This has always been important to me and I let it slide. I will also put aside a little time each day
- Strengthen my relationships with friends. My friends have come through for me more often than I can count. They have become like family to me. I don’t think I do enough to tell them thank you. This is really important to me.
- Redefine my relationship with my family. This year has been an eye opener to me in regards to depending on certain family members. I have to say, I have been deeply disappointed. I have no right to ask them to change but my approach and expectations towards them need to. This is not a bad thing but a necessary thing. This will be the hardest of my resolutions.
- Cut down on the meat and eat healthier. I love food but lately nothing taste right. Why bother chewing if it is not satisfying. I would like to be more conscience of what I eat and I am going to work towards cutting back on the meat (aka beautiful protein). Eat two days a week vegetarian.
- Weight and Health: {don’t laugh} I know what you are saying everyone puts this on the list. This year I feel that it could not have been clearer to me about my health. Surgery and high blood pressure is like a smack in the face. If I want give myself the best chances of having a baby in the future, I need to make sure everything is in order.
- Get more consistent about fitness/exercise. I would like to buy a bike this year and start to cycle. I would also like to start training for another marathon I am not sure which one yet. Start doing more yoga, I miss it.
- My Finances: Start my budget. I have no emergency fund. Yes Suzie Orman you heard it right. I have no idea how much I can put into it but anything at this point counts. work towards finding a home this year.
- Organize myself better: Pull it together and quick. This unorganized life is representing my mind at this point. I feel like the Cathy Comic.
- Work towards one thing on this list daily.
Maybe, this is enough to commit to right now. Whoosh I better get started!
Last Days of 2010
In these last remaining days of 2010, I am tempted to slam the door and scream "and don't come back, either!" This has not been a year for the record books, needless to say. Personal and professional crises abounded and I barely had time to recover from one before the next one hit me. It's been a tiring year and I'm ready for 2011. What's remarkable about this time of year is that there's a clear-cut beginning right around the corner. I know it's just a date on the calendar and that the problems of 2010 can easily become the problems of 2011. But this year also presents a real opportunity to reflect on my life and think seriously about what I love and what I want to be different.
To be clear, although this was a difficult year, I am not ungrateful for the opportunities and wonderful things that fill my life. I am well aware that I am lucky. Just the same, I have been turning around a long list of things in my head that I feel I could work on in the coming year. In no particular order:
1. Improve my relationship with my mother. This year was especially difficult in this respect. My mother has struggled for many, many years with alcohol abuse and it has obviously affected our relationship in a million ways. In October she hit a crisis point and decided to get sober and change her life. I think that's amazing and support her efforts 100%. The challenge for 2011 will be to rebuild the trust and mother-daughter relationship that I know we both want. This is a difficult, personal, and painful thing to do and it's not something I relish the idea of sharing. I'm doing it because I know that there are plenty of flaws that I contribute that hold our relationship back and perpetuate the patterns that we have established. I want to think about what I am doing that makes it hard for us to be honest with each other. I think that if we could be open I could be a good source of support for her while she's getting her life back on track. If it stays like this, all we'll have is surface level phone calls where we tell each other that everything's fine.
2. Eat less processed sugar. This is pretty self-explanatory and I know I am not alone with this. I am eating way too much crap and not nearly enough fruits and veggies. In recent weeks I have been making a solid effort to put more good stuff in every meal but I am still reaching far too often for sugary stuff and/or plain carbs. This is going to be a serious pain-in-the butt habit to break, but I know it will be worth it.
3. Find a way to relaunch StoneArch Cakery. This probably conflicts hilariously with the above resolution, but just the same, I really want to get back into making party and special occasion cakes. I had to let the new (ok, infant) business go when my ex-husband and I split because I left the house that we shared. StoneArch was a home-based cake business that was just getting going when we divorced. I have a couple of ideas for ways to make this happen, so stay tuned.
4. Prioritize my life better. This could be renamed "Why is cleaning so high on my list?" Granted, a clean house does make me quite happy, but why do I spend so much time doing it? There must be a way around it. Maybe picking up a little every night? Maybe letting a little more go? What is the answer here? I think this will take a couple of different systems before finding the right one.
5. Be a better friend. There are a million reasons that I am busier than I would like to be (and making myself busy by doing boring crappy stuff like cleaning: see above) but I need to make more time to see the people that make me smile. I hate that I am always saying how long it's been, how we should get together, ect ect. I love my friends and need and want to see them more face-to-face.
6. Get back on the shop ride. Athletic goals are hard because you never know when you'll be injured or crash, or whatever else. In April of 2010 I crashed during a shop ride and really messed up my hip. I haven't been on a serious group ride since because the thought of it makes me a little queasy. I need to get back in a group. I miss riding with my bike friends and improve so much by riding with faster people. No more excuses, this year I will get back on the group ride. Oh, I will also go get the hip xrayed again.
7. Improve my triathlon 5K time and improve my overall 1/2 Iron time at Patriots in September. This is going to mean speed work, which I hate. I am a total cardio junkie and hate speed work and weight training. Let's just say I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. It's good for the soul. Embrace pain. I got this.
8. Improve finances. I lost my job last March and although I got a new one in July, I haven't been adding to my retirement fund. I am committing to getting back to that. I also will pay off my credit card and start a small savings fund.
Ok, that's enough for now. I think that ought to get me started. Suggestions and comments are welcome and I look forward to getting this plan underway.
To be clear, although this was a difficult year, I am not ungrateful for the opportunities and wonderful things that fill my life. I am well aware that I am lucky. Just the same, I have been turning around a long list of things in my head that I feel I could work on in the coming year. In no particular order:
1. Improve my relationship with my mother. This year was especially difficult in this respect. My mother has struggled for many, many years with alcohol abuse and it has obviously affected our relationship in a million ways. In October she hit a crisis point and decided to get sober and change her life. I think that's amazing and support her efforts 100%. The challenge for 2011 will be to rebuild the trust and mother-daughter relationship that I know we both want. This is a difficult, personal, and painful thing to do and it's not something I relish the idea of sharing. I'm doing it because I know that there are plenty of flaws that I contribute that hold our relationship back and perpetuate the patterns that we have established. I want to think about what I am doing that makes it hard for us to be honest with each other. I think that if we could be open I could be a good source of support for her while she's getting her life back on track. If it stays like this, all we'll have is surface level phone calls where we tell each other that everything's fine.
2. Eat less processed sugar. This is pretty self-explanatory and I know I am not alone with this. I am eating way too much crap and not nearly enough fruits and veggies. In recent weeks I have been making a solid effort to put more good stuff in every meal but I am still reaching far too often for sugary stuff and/or plain carbs. This is going to be a serious pain-in-the butt habit to break, but I know it will be worth it.
3. Find a way to relaunch StoneArch Cakery. This probably conflicts hilariously with the above resolution, but just the same, I really want to get back into making party and special occasion cakes. I had to let the new (ok, infant) business go when my ex-husband and I split because I left the house that we shared. StoneArch was a home-based cake business that was just getting going when we divorced. I have a couple of ideas for ways to make this happen, so stay tuned.
4. Prioritize my life better. This could be renamed "Why is cleaning so high on my list?" Granted, a clean house does make me quite happy, but why do I spend so much time doing it? There must be a way around it. Maybe picking up a little every night? Maybe letting a little more go? What is the answer here? I think this will take a couple of different systems before finding the right one.
5. Be a better friend. There are a million reasons that I am busier than I would like to be (and making myself busy by doing boring crappy stuff like cleaning: see above) but I need to make more time to see the people that make me smile. I hate that I am always saying how long it's been, how we should get together, ect ect. I love my friends and need and want to see them more face-to-face.
6. Get back on the shop ride. Athletic goals are hard because you never know when you'll be injured or crash, or whatever else. In April of 2010 I crashed during a shop ride and really messed up my hip. I haven't been on a serious group ride since because the thought of it makes me a little queasy. I need to get back in a group. I miss riding with my bike friends and improve so much by riding with faster people. No more excuses, this year I will get back on the group ride. Oh, I will also go get the hip xrayed again.
7. Improve my triathlon 5K time and improve my overall 1/2 Iron time at Patriots in September. This is going to mean speed work, which I hate. I am a total cardio junkie and hate speed work and weight training. Let's just say I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. It's good for the soul. Embrace pain. I got this.
8. Improve finances. I lost my job last March and although I got a new one in July, I haven't been adding to my retirement fund. I am committing to getting back to that. I also will pay off my credit card and start a small savings fund.
Ok, that's enough for now. I think that ought to get me started. Suggestions and comments are welcome and I look forward to getting this plan underway.
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